so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
