You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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