About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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