yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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