his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
