The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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