dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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