the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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