I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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