U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara