Don't you send me to vm
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
