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I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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