He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.