He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
