So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize