I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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