Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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