so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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