I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize