Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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