i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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