did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
