Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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