So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
