walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He did a backflip because drugs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
