You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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