kristin has been a bad kristin
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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