I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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