people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
