I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
