Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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