god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize