Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
