I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
