the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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