why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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