first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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