im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
