her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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