its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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