Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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