he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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