best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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