U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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