idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
