then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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