So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
