Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
