quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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