I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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