In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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