i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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