If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
