I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Enjoy the penises
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
