she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
