the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
