I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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