So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
