I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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