but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
