Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
His nipple licking is glorious
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