I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
