VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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