apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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