But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Randomize
