You smell like stripper and shame
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
