is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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