if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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